Last week I wrote a blog on “mental toughness”, please see:
Today, I wanted to focus on the need for “emotional
toughness”, which when combined with the “mental’ side of things can help you
become a great leader. There are several
definitions of emotional intelligence linked to the individual psychologists who
studied this behavior but in essence it is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of
groups. People who have a high degree of
emotional intelligence have a much greater opportunity to lead successfully.
Emotional
Intelligence can be broken into 3 main components:
- Perception of Emotions
- Comprehension of Emotions
- Management of Emotions
Perception
of Emotions ~ is the
ability to detect and decode emotions in body language and personal oral communications. Your talents to empathize is critical in your capacity
to perceive accurately. As mentioned
numerous time in my blogs, the ability to show true empathy by “walking in
their shoes”. Opening yourself up so you
can look at a situation from various angles rather than a myopic point of view.
Your perception is heavily influenced by both your personal body language
and the non-verbal cues that your people are sharing. First, be aware of your message and the way
in which you are communicating. Work on
open communications without showing signs that you already have set
responses. The way in which you
communicate both orally and by body-signs will help open up true communications
and hopefully give a clearer, more accurate picture.
Comprehension
of Emotions ~ the
interpretation of emotions is the aptitude to understand emotional body language
and communications. Your ability as an
executive to be confident without being “block-headed” can have a terrific
impact on your leadership ability. Leaders do not have to be perfect…like
everyone, they make mistakes. True
leaders have an inner strength and share not only their confidence and
strengths but also are open about their weakness. In essence, they show and are great symbols
of humility!
In addition a key trait that leaders have in comprehending emotion is to be
able to “control” their own emotions. An
exemplary leader is one which despite major challenges will be able to slow
down and monitor their own body language.
They are non-reactive at least in a emotional way!
Lastly, those who have the ability to best understand emotions also have a
strong sense of personal accountability. They do not blame others. They are reflective of outcomes and work on
ways to innovate for the future.
Management
of Emotions ~ This is a
tremendous skill that allows you to be the mediator. Your tone will dictate the result. You will have the capability to referee both
yourself and your colleagues. There are
not many instances where “shouting” will win in the long term. You may win some battles but ultimately will
lose the war. When I think of leaders
who do well with management of emotions, I immediately think of Ronald Reagan
and his accomplishments. I also was
quite impressed with George W. Bush and the emotional intelligence that he
showed to the nation shortly after the 9/11 attacks.
The ability to rally a team after gathering the necessary information is deeply
ingrained in those who possess strong management of emotions. These leaders do not just talk the talk, they
actually walk it. They set the example
with their behavior and leadership!
Relationship building is a key to long-term success. The skill sets needed to build emotional
intelligence are able to be learned.
Combining them with mental and physical intelligence is unbeatable!
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