Thursday, April 26, 2012

Put a little humor in your life with these quotes!

This week has been quote week and today I am offering some "identified" quotes that can be credited to an individual.  If we can approach our careers and obligations with a little bit of comedy and wit on occasion, it can help us through the rough spots.  I offer these to you!  Hope you enjoy!  Tomorrow will be a dedicated list all composed by two mysterious authors, "unknown & anonymous".    I hope that you have enjoyed it! Have fun!

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is."  ~  Ellen DeGeneres

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."  ~ Yogi Berra

Yogi has so many that I decided to make a section just for him.   For your pleasure a short list of some "Yogi-isms".  I hope that you enjoy!

  • "it's like deja vu all over again"
  • "We made too many wrong mistakes."
  • "You can observe a lot just by watching."
  • "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore"
  • "He hits from both sides of the plate.  He's amphibious."
  • "If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer."
  • "I never said most of the things I said."
  • "It ain’t over til its over"

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working with one."   Bill Gates

"I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."   Joan Rivers

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more."  Walter Matthau

"I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can’t trick you."   Judge Judy

"The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."   Will Rogers

Similar to Yogi, noted humorist Will Rogers has many quips that are favorites of mine.  Hope you enjoy this sampling...

  • "We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." 
  • "Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."
  • "Always drink upstream from the herd. "
  • "Never miss a good chance to shut up. "

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet."  Rodney Dangerfield

"We didn’t lose the game, we just ran out of time."  Vince Lombardi

"The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him."  Oscar Wilde

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."   Wendell Johnson

needed to insert two more Yogi' can't get enough of him!

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."
Yogi Berra

"If the people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s gonna stop them."
Yogi Berra

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He`s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!"
Billy Connolly

"In America anyone can become president. That’s the problem."
George Carlin

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
Greg Norman, Golfer

"If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets."
Mel Brooks

"A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright."
Lucille Ball

and finally..."He who laughs last didn’t get the joke."

Let a smile be your guide!  Have fun, enjoy life's journey!

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