This past week has been a fun one for me. Putting together quotes, motivational & inspirational, script from the movies, funny quotes from well-knowns and finally quotes from either Unknown or Anonymous. How much better can it get? I went through much reading to make sure that none of the quotes were off-color. There are quite a few of them and if you are so inclined, take a look on the internet. For this post, I wanted to share only "clean" quotes that you would have no problem sharing with your kids or parents!
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
Unknown
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Anonymous
Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.
Unknown
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have learners permit!
God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I’m hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition!
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Unknown
Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Unknown
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
Unknown
Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
Unknown
Keep smiling , it makes people wonder what you’re up to.
Unknown
Money Talks … but all mine ever says is Goodbye!
Unknown
Better to keep quiet and only let people think you’re an idiot than to speak up and confirm it.
Unknown
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
Unknown
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Unknown
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.
Unknown
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Unknown
Don’t talk about yourself so much… we’ll do that when you leave.
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.
Unknown
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most!
Unknown
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
Unknown
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Anonymous
Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.
Unknown
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have learners permit!
God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I’m hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition!
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Unknown
Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Unknown
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
Unknown
Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
Unknown
Keep smiling , it makes people wonder what you’re up to.
Unknown
Money Talks … but all mine ever says is Goodbye!
Unknown
Better to keep quiet and only let people think you’re an idiot than to speak up and confirm it.
Unknown
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
Unknown
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Unknown
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.
Unknown
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Unknown
Don’t talk about yourself so much… we’ll do that when you leave.
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.
Unknown
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most!
Unknown
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