Listening

“We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less. ”

Diogenes Laertius - Biographer Of The Greek Philosophers

By sheer ratios listening is 2X more expected to happen than speaking.  The opposite is more likely. The bigger problem is how much is actually remembered.  Research indicates that only 10 – 30% of what we hear is remembered.  If these findings are accurate we have a major dilemma regarding communications. 

Consider a special two day meeting that you are having with your team.  Each day you have an 8 hour planned agenda.  You have 10 team members present and there are multiple issues to address.  What is the chance that you are successful that you get 100% buy-in and desired actions from the attendees?  The odds are very strong against you! I am going to look at this positively and search for ways to help make sure that I have done a good job communicating and that my team is doing a good job of listening. Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming better listeners, we improve productivity and our ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. We also will be on the same team and minimize misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!

How can we become better listeners?

Our action and body language speaks volumes without verbally “saying anything”.  Paying attention to certain external factors can help ensure that you hear the presentation and also that the presenter knows that you are listening.

·         This may sound foolish but make sure that you are looking at your presenter and making eye contact.

·         Ignore outside factors.  Put your own thoughts on hold.  Try not to be pre-occupied with your own thoughts.

o   Often times to minimize the chance of being pre-occupied with an opposing thought it may be good to ask a question or paraphrase…”what I hear you saying…” is a good way to reflect back and hone your listening skills.

o   For clarification purposes, you may ask direct questions…”what do you mean…”?

o   Try not to interrupt flow with counter arguments or “devil’s advocate” questioning.  These types of interruptions waste time and are frustrating to the speaker.  It also will have limiting impact on your other team members.

·         Pay attention to not only your body language, sitting erect, nodding your head in agreement etc….but also to the speaker’s body language. Smile and use other facial expressions which will “connect” with your presenter.

·         Refrain from side bar conversations.  These are distracting to the presenter but also will decrease your “hearing” exponentially.

·         Show respect above all.  Listening is a skill set that requires a lot of attention.  It is a core value that is based on a model of respect and understanding.  By actively listening to a presentation you are gaining information and perspective on various topics.  You may not agree with everything and in most cases “should not agree” but you should always treat the presenter in the same way that you would wish to be treated.