Building confidence

To build confidence we need to fail.  Confidence building is a stepping stone from past experiences.  If we are experiencing something for the first time, our chance of being confident or competent is not great.  This is due to fear and the powerful influence that panic has in most people’s lives.  There is much research on building self-confidence and I offer the following for your review:

When building your confidence do the following:

1.      Have your support person nearby.  In “Star Wars”, Luke Skywalker first had Ben and then Yoda.  Who is your Yoda?  In most cases, it is your spouse, a parent, a sibling or a business colleague.

 

2.      List your accomplishments.  Write them down and refer to them.  Do you have newspaper clippings from your elementary school days?  Sports kudos when you were a youngster? Academic honors? Organizational memberships? Your children’s milestones? Home & School participation?  Coaching? Career milestone?  Keep this list nearby and refer to it often.

3.      Get organized.  Clear off your desk and office space.  It will help you feel accomplished and get you in an organized mood with your brain.

4.      Stay physically active.  Get your gym membership up to date and let the endorphins clear up your brain. Try to get exercise just 30 minutes a day.

5.      Be charitable!  It feels good to help others who may need it more.  Donate your time and treasure.

6.      Surround yourself with positive experiences.  Pictures are great reminders of happy times.  Review pictures of your family, children, spouse, vacation trips and special outings that gave you great pleasure.

7.      Smile.  It uses a lot of muscles and you can’t feel bad when you are smiling!

8.      Don’t seek perfection!  It cannot be achieved. 

9.      Practice the “Golden Rule”.  Knowing that you are good without the need of verbally saying it to others.  Be humble.  Don’t speak despairingly of anyone!

10.  Know that you are needed.  You have made a major impact on people and you need to know just how much you mean to others.  If you ever doubt it, just watch “It’s a wonderful life” with Jimmy Stewart,  anytime of the year.

As you take the first steps in building your confidence keep in mind the following:

·          PMA – Positive Mental Approach.  Both Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone in their book, “Success through a Positive Mental Attitude” that anyone can achieve their dreams with the right attitude.

·        Dress for Success – Your personal hygiene and appearance play a big part in how you feel about yourself.  As mentioned earlier, hit the gym but also dress appropriately.  A rule of thumb when making presentations, dress one level above your audience.

·        Watch your body language – Your stride tells a lot, if you are upright and walking briskly, it exudes confidence.  Watch out for any slumping in chairs or “hunched over” look at the podium.  This displays a lack of self confidence.  Good eye contact also helps to make a positive impression and helps to keep your audience alert and involved

·       Preparation – The amount of preparation that one puts in could relieve a lot of perspiration from your presentation.  I am not sure where this quote came from but the more comfortable that you are, the more confidence you will show to your audience. The delivery of the message, the clarity, the purpose will all be enhanced by how prepared you are on the topic.

·         Be Grateful to your audience – Get in the habit of recognizing and praising people.  This will have a demonstrative effect on how people feel about you and help to build your own self confidence.  By looking for the best in others you will bring out the best in yourself.