Our viewpoints are often affected by what is happening in our lives at any particular time. In today’s economy many qualified workers are without jobs. As this period of unemployment continues, most unemployed will be filled with negative thoughts. This can become cancerous, we want to stop it during it’s benign stage before it has a chance to metastasize and become malignant.
Pessimism can seep through the most optimistic person and generally follows a serious disappointment in life such as a death in the family, personal relationship break-up, career setbacks etc…It also is not something that you are born with. It is a learned behavior! Think back to your schooldays and the bully who constantly put you down. Perhaps it was a teacher, coach or manager who said that “you are a loser”, “you are not cut out for this”, or “you are useless”. As this happens, some people begin to believe the negative thoughts and this carries through for many years. They feel helpless to change and grow. They believe that the setback is forever and simply cannot rise above the negativity.
Optimists view these setbacks as short-term. The price of doing business! They face the problem head on and take active steps to solve the issue. They stay on track and are relentless in reaching their goals. They have a special resiliency to help them remain focused and targeted on resolving the issue. They do not allow negatives to creep into their lives and contaminate other areas where they have been successful. Take in point the example above where the unemployed person has been out of work for an extended period of time. This setback is specific to a job and the optimist will emerge from that setback by facing the challenge of obtaining work and actively take steps to this end. The pessimist focuses on the career issue and then allows it to seep into other areas of his/her life possibly affecting their family, friends and their health.
Similar to the half-full, half-empty glass, both negative and positive outlooks are reasonable. But being reasonable does not necessarily allow it to be acceptable. Do not allow yourself to accept the “half-empty glass! The real difference may focus on “how happy do you want to be”? Do you want to go through life moaning and groaning? How is your discontent affecting your loved ones? Stress is highly visible in pessimists and can quickly be absorbed by your family and loved ones.
As noted earlier, positive and negative beliefs are learned and resulting actions can be learned behaviors as well!
Be alert to your feelings ~ We need to be constantly on the lookout and be conscientious to stopping negative thoughts from overtaking us.
Focus on Positive outcomes ~ Keep in mind the good things that are said to you. Spotlight those times when your skill sets are recognized and praised. Think of good times and good memories.
Convince yourself that you can do it! ~ Actively search for the positives. At first you may want to stay focused on short-term action plans. Accomplishing them will add to your confidence in the long-term.
Keep your expectations realistic ~ Swinging for the fences on every pitch is not going to cut it. Some of the greatest hitters in the Major Leagues have career batting averages at 300 or less. In other words, they missed getting a hit 7 out of 10 times but are still going to the Hall of Fame.
Search for anything positive or hopeful ~ That “sliver of hope” or “needle in the haystack” approach could be the beginning of reversing negativity that is so pervasive in society today. ABC wide world of sports comes to mind….the “thrill of victory, the agony of defeat”. There is only going to be one winner, take it in stride and do what you can to make it happen! Give it your best effort and most importantly dwell on the good effort that you produced.
Seek to Understand ~ Try to truly understand what is happening regarding communications with others. Show empathy and imagine walking in their shoes. This will give you a better understanding of the situation and help you transform negatives into positives. There will always be some detours along the way, but being aware of them first helps gets us to where we want to eventually go.
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